1. I believe in magic. 2. I spent my whole growing up life in the house my father built. He finished it the day I was born. It sat down a dirt road that had the most wonderful farm across the street. My dog and I would climb a sentinel eucalyptus tree that was out front of Mrs. Cooper’s farm and think great thoughts. 3. I danced on our front lawn with the setting sun every summer...

In comedy news, B. Hussein Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today. Proving once and for all what a meaningless award this actually is. Obama wins because he's attempted to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between people, especially Muslims. But once again I have to ask what has Obama actually done? He's given a few speeches, spoken mostly in lofty rhetoric but he hasn't actually...

It is fall here in the Northeastern part of the United States. In my little town of upstate New York, the trees have changed color and leaves are falling in abundance. Fall is the season of change. It reminds me that nothing stays the same forever. That time moves on, life is not stagnant. Fall is a season of letting go, a time of apparent loss. Days get shorter, nights get longer. There is an...

Redneck couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out. Husband says ' Oh for fuck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister' . My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else. She said she wanted to come back as a pig. I said, 'You're not fucking listening' . Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a...

Home makeover shows. They are amazing. I cant stop watching them. =D I spent the night at Travis'. He threw a party and there were three other skanks there, barely 17. They tried fucking putting me down but i just called them babies. One girl told me that she was a cheerleader. I told her that if she was any good then she wouldnt be stuck at a party where the boy's asses...

I blundered into the "People of Wal-Mart" website last night during a bout of insomnia (nothing new there) when I noticed the accompanying picture. For some reason, it really pissed me off: "Soooooo, lack of ink makes one a “pussy” does it? Reeeeeeeallllyyyyyy? Though far from saints, both my grandfathers, one who died in his late 80s, another who’s in...

Monday, October 12, 2009 Today, many countries around the world celebrate Columbus Day, also known as Discovery Day. It is also Thanksgiving in Canada. So let’s take a moment to play with the ideas of Discovery and Giving Thanks. Today, think about what new discoveries you are thankful for. It could be a recipe you made up, a gadget you couldn’t exist without that you...

A couple of weeks ago on our undergraduate campus, someone used a ball point pen to drew several swastikas on the wall of a restroom in the library. Consequently, this weekend, at the regularly scheduled meeting of the law school student government (of which I am a member), we will be voting on a resolution "against this hate speech and vandalism incident." Maybe my view is kind of skewed...

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I have recently re-entered the dating world and after several set up's, a few dates, multiple e-mails and texts I have one thing to say about the entire experience: It sucks. There. I said it. I'm a hopless romantic who hates dating. I hate the entire thing. From the pre-game (Wait a second, I should wear THAT? It's no bigger then a tissue? I dont care if it will get me...